“A [blank] in Paris”

Ok, so Man Repeller got a lot right about this post, in which they recount a list of annoying clichés that denizens of  a “junior semester in France” participants have accumulated. But what if we wanted to make a list for those who a) committed to more than just four-and-a-half months in the country, b) actually took classes with French students at a French university [or worked in a French environment], or c) did make French friends despite a Betches Love This-esque knowledge of France?

So let’s try that again, this time avec un peu d’effort…

1) Elle en a marre of people calling it “Bastille Day.” It’s La Fête Nationale, people! At the very least, just call it “the fourteenth of July” in English… even “July 14th.” We approve.

2) She tweeted something political or about Sartre before 11am today.

3) She once had a blog where she (rightfully) complained about all the annoying intricacies of navigating French bureaucracy. Because it’s a thing, and it sucks. (Post #4: How to survive your OFII appointment without going totally folle)

4) She has at least one Facebook profile picture downing the truest French wine– rosé– before it became total #whitegirlwine stateside (it’s obviously Provençal because any other rosé is a joke.)

5) For approximately 120 days, her Instagrams consisted solely of pastries and monuments. (Okay, so this one is absolutely true.)

6) She knows that bizarre is spelled with ONE z, TWO r’s, en français and en anglais.

7) She has a bunch of great French friends, because once you (somehow, some way) get past their admittedly icy exterior, she’s grown to see that they are some of her best, most loyal and genuine friends on any continent, and their natural European wanderlust will inevitably bring them together again #oneday.

8) She probably never went to Fashion Week just like most girls in New York, London, Milan, or Paris. But craning her neck anytime she sees a bob & dark sunglasses for an AW sighting is all part of the charade. (And okay, I got lucky!)

9) She knows that wearing only black is a fash-un moment, but also very real in NY (duh?)

10) She didn’t gain 10 pounds because despite the daily baguette (um and croissant, and pâtisserie) she lived in a chambre de bonne 7th-floor walkup and now has lust-worthy calves

11) There’s a picture of her and/or one of her friends killing it, semi-conscious, at Oktoberfest in a traditional dirndl

12) Literally any movie, book, or commercial based in Paris makes her cry because that place is legit the best/worst city you will ever live in and the dichotomy brings back automatic tears

13) Upon returning to the States, she immediately called the first customer service number she could think of and practically cried with joy about how easy navigating life in your home country is

14) Her true novel-length Paris recommendations are kept & guarded for closest friends only, because if one more tourist learns about the Canal Saint-Martin it is going to become un-ironically cool 😦

15) She wrote a post mocking another post about a list of things expats do in Paris. Go figure.

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